Here at taudrey, we're all about making things personal, and not just when it comes to dainty jewelry. So we asked loyal #taudreygirl and mother-of-two Jenise Subervi to get a bit personal and share some thoughts on the topic of "mom guilt."
Along with loving herself some personalized jewelry, Jenise is a freelance photographer and the voice and mom-spiration behind blog atoddlerandatopknot.com. But her most coveted titles are Wife and Mom. She lives for moments with hubby Eddie, toddler Caleb and baby girl Chloe. Oh, and she has a serious knack for seasonal home decor!
Read on for a sweet contribution by Jenise.
YOUR Best is More Than Good Enough
I recently made this comment to my husband. “I’m a B+ mom and I’m okay with that.” He looked at me and said, “Please don’t ever say that again. You’re an incredible mom and wife. You give your all every day.” I didn’t argue with him. I know that I do the best I can on a daily basis.
But even if I am trying my best every day, most days, the mom guilt creeps in.
I didn’t read to them today.
I let Caleb eat too much sugar.
There are dishes left in the sink and the floor is filthy.
I didn’t spend enough time playing with Chloe because I had to get a post out.
I had to order dinner because I didn’t plan well enough.
I yelled at Caleb.
We didn’t spend any time outside today.
I got frustrated with Chloe’s crying.
I barely had a real conversation with my husband today.
Do you see how out of hand this can get? I can pick apart basically every action of my day and feel guilty about all of it. But the truth of the matter is, if we spend all of our time focusing on what we're doing wrong, we'll miss all of the things we're doing right. As a wife and mom to two young kids who helps run a home and two small businesses, I’m juggling a lot. And while I realize I’m not the first nor the last to experience any of this, sometimes, in a world filled with perfect social media feeds and Pinterest-worthy lives, it’s easy to feel like I don’t measure up.
But those words from my husband hit me harder than I let on.
“You give YOUR all every day.”
We need to stop comparing our lives and parenting skills to those of everyone around us. Because, at the end of the day, we all suffer from feelings of inadequacy. We all feel like something we are doing (or aren’t doing) is going to royally screw up our kids. And sure, sometimes we mess up. But for the most part, we are doing our best. And we need to remember that while we are feeling guilty at the end of the day, most of the time, our kids aren’t remembering the negative things. They’re remembering the good moments.
We sang together in the car.
We baked cookies together and ate them.
We made a mess and it was fun.
We made a fort in the living room.
We cuddled and hugged.
So tonight, before you go to sleep, remember that YOUR best - not the mom on your social media feed’s best - YOUR best, is the best for your kids. And that is more than good enough.